The parable of the deer

The past few weeks have been a heavy transition point in my life.  My formal education has now ended and several other chapters of my life have been written and completed. Now, I am on to finding the job that will help launch my career.  But with anything in life it is a process and one that has its moments of clarity, but almost more so feelings of being lost and confused.

I think there is so much pressure on young people nowadays to have their lives figured out the moment they step onto a college campus.  You need to have your major picked and know what career you want to eventually have so you can work your way to being ready for that step.  I find that these pressures can tend to lead young people, like myself, to feel inexperienced or unqualified, even if they are.  They tend to feel lost and unsure they are ready.

But a few weeks back I had an experience that I thought was fitting to share.  It was an experience that for me was enlightening and spiritual, and gave me a sign to follow my intuition.

After exploring which direction to take my life, I needed to clear my mind.  I went for a night swim where the quiet and darkness along with the warm of the water left me in a state of relaxation. I was able to talk things out in my mind and search for answers.

After thinking about possible jobs to take and cities to move to I looked out into my backyard, now opened to the fields behind our property.  As if plopped down from the night sky was a deer, standing stoically still.  I tried to adjust my eyes from the darkness and the water.  Suddenly the deer was gone and I felt as if I imagined the whole thing.  I swam to the end of the pool closest to where the deer would’ve been only to not see anything.  Again, I felt my eyes couldn’t see clearly so I decided to get out of the pool to get a better look.

I walk out and it was still black as if a blanket was drawn over my eyes.  I decide to throw a rock out into the fields to startle the potential deer.  I launched the rock as far as I could and peered out into the field.  Suddenly it was like I had night vision and three deer had turned and looked at me.  I saw them clearly as if the sun suddenly appeared to illuminate the yard.

To some the thought of deer in a field is a normal, everyday experience and while the fields behind my parents’ property is like a animal sanctuary home to rabbits, gophers and chipmunks, deer are not a frequent visitor.  I immediately thought of it as a sign, and sought to explore the meaning of the deer.

Long story short, deer symbolize a the power of intuition, the call to reinvent yourself and explore new adventures.  That’s exactly what this next chapter of my life is – a new adventure that is sure to transform me in new ways.  Somewhere along the line, however, I have found my intuition to be muddied by doubts, fears and questions.  Getting that back and tapping into what I believe in my heart, mind and soul is something I need to get back in touch with.  It is so easy to let our mind wander and to think until our mind is exhausted. I am guilty of this, and it has provided me with stress and worry that I do not need. What is even more astounding is that I’ve always had very good intuition.  There may not have been red flags with certain experiences or relationships, but my intuition has warned me plenty of times, only to provide clarity down the road.

So it was a kick in the pants to learn that maybe this sign was something I need to take a look at.  I need a little discerning and to allow the voice in my head – the voice of my own intuition – to have its say.  After all, I do believe God gives us that gift so that we can guide our own selves.  We all know deep down the path that is destined for us. We just need to listen.

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