The past few months have been a whirlwind of emotions. From sadness, to happiness, stress and relaxation, it seems that the roller coaster of emotions is not stopping and sometimes you don’t even know how to feel on any given day.
The past couple weeks have brought graduation, moving, and loss, new job opportunities, new friends and new possibilities. With the chaos and array of emotion it is easy to get beaten down and feel weak and feel insecure about even the positive things that wait around the corner. Sometimes with the overwhelming big things, we lose sight of the little things.
I have mentioned in my past few posts how losing my grandfather was even bigger than I imagined. I still find myself waiting for him to him to pop around the corner and give me one of his one liners, or hear him yelling at the TV. It’s those small, everyday moments we tend to take for granted the most and when we can’t experience them anymore, they are the moments we miss the most.
Today I took great appreciation in those small moments, and took strength from them. I have seen my grandma and mom feeling sad and beaten down as I have the past few weeks. But in their weakness I found strength. Strength just to hug them and have them know I am always here. To have them know that our family will get through this, that we are stronger than ever, despite how weak we must feel. I have pushed myself to give my mom and grandma little moments, too. Whether we are laughing over a game of cards or indulging over hot fudge sundaes, we are still keeping those small everyday moments alive and by doing so we are still living. Whether it is giving them a laugh or a small for a few small moments I feel I have taken those small inspiring moments my grandfather gave me and have been able to give a few to my family to ease their hearts.
It is so hard to see someone you love hurt, but in those moments it seems we instinctively find our strength in order to try and uplift those who we see hurting. It has been a difficult time, but now as I see how I am able to help, I see how strong I am becoming. I see that instead of choosing to be paralyzed by loss, I am choosing to use it as a motivation. I want to lift up the people I love who are down and I want to keep living, giving my life and the lives of those we have lost a greater purpose.
O Lord, we call upon You in our time of sorrow,
That You give us the strength and will to bear our heavy
burdens, until we can again feel the warmth and love of
Your divine compassion. Be mindful of us and have mercy
on us while we struggle to comprehend life’s hardships.
Keep us ever in Your watch, til we can walk again with
light hearts and renewed spirits.